July 16th

 A new sketchbook - July 2024

Aspiration kills contentment. 

A proud and well loved jackdaw

Something to do with obeisance, just me and a snail, bending over backwards under a changing sun and moon.

Found some zines from the first time my mum had cancer and I was pretty upset. 

Also boxes and boxes of paper, scraps of drawings and words and photos, what shall I do with it all? 

I guess you have to be more careful as you get older because it is all so much more consequential - time is running out to repair your damage.

Hello

Looking back through my old sketchbook, untouched since 2021, I had a lot of ideas which are beginning to wake up again.

What is different now, is I no longer have social media. No one to show off to, but also no one to share with. What will this result in? Making art like no one is looking. 

This I have only recently realised about myself

 I grew up in Oxford and resented it for rejecting me in various ways, and this has made me resent beauty and impressiveness, or at least take them for granted.

I have forgotten how to enjoy things. Instead I make everything into a job that needs to be done. I'm not even sure what I like or don't like anymore.

My favourite weather is rain.