You  have to be so many things



You can't be everything at once. It's all separate.

First update 25/10/12

Alright, the situation is this: Due to circumstances beyond my control I find myself at home and out of uni and the studio for a month. Although I could take this as a month off, I absolutely refuse to do that and it is my intention to continue working, which in theory shouldn't be too problematic as I am currently working predominantly with film.

Issues that I am likely to encounter however are of environment, which is less than pleasant at the moment. Making work about being in a place, or having access to a thing bigger than yourself that is away and separate from anything else is hampered by being at 'HOME' - whether 'home' be a good or bad thing - because it represents everything opposite to freedom or unpedictability. 'HOME' is comfort, discomfort, enclosure, tension, anxiety, apathy, contentment, self-involvement. Home is death to creativity and inspiration. Home is just death.

So a line must be drawn between being at 'home' and being a working artist. Before I left my tutor said that the trap to avoid is that of being a 'carer' which is the position I am shortly to be in, and though at the time I kind of understood what he meant, being here has made it crystal clear. I can care for somebody, and be this thing, and be domestic, however it is of equal if not greater importance that I continue to push myself, to be inquisitive, hard-working, hard-thinking, active, angry and powerful. Resignation will kill me.

I think it is more important than it ever is in the studio that I am consistently and regularly COLLECTING, PRODUCING and RECORDING. I must be more creative and productive now than I ever have been. As I write this it sounds like a selfish position to be coming from. Maybe it is but I also think it's necessary. I'm not sure if this is everyone's position, or just mine, but I am constantly and consistently being told that I am something, always being TOLD, being TOLD. I am talked about as troublesome child, and a nuisance, and irrational. And everybody accepts that I am this thing. And I'm not, and I'm the only one that knows it, and if I stop working even that won't matter because I will begin to be absorbed into this thing that is 'home' and I don't belong here anymore. This is death. I'm frightened.

None of this really makes sense, but that probably just makes it an apt introduction to the weeks to come. Everything is fucked up.

21/05/2012

"The past, as we think of it, changes constantly, but those changes are determined, however obscurely, by us. They vary as moods vary or as weather alters from one moment to the next. The key is the rhythm but the rhythm is ours alone, dictated by memory."
(Morgan, S (1995) Rites of Passage; Art for the End of the Century. Tate Gallery Publications: London)

"For dwelling-as-residing is not necessarily sedentary; not the literal absence of motion but finding a relatively stable place in the world is what matters in such dwelling. Such finding is possible even when in motion. The earth offers continual if sometimes uncomfortable accommodations as one moves across its surface. If human beings may peregrinate in place, so they may also dwell stably even as they move from place to place.
-Edward S. Casey
(D, Tacita (2005) Place. Thames and Hudson: London)

Call 3 exhibition evaluation

Call 3 – sited/off site was a project that allowed me to work outside of the studio and consider what the line is, and where it stands between ‘the work’ and documentation. I proposed a performance piece and felt very certain about how it would be documented – with photographs – which took me away from my normal practice which would usually revolve around going to a place, but collecting/taking something away to explore in the studio.

In terms of curating this piece; my audience were my two travelling companions, fellow artists who were not only present for the performance, but who I had to hand control over to, and trust with my intentions. When the documentation was brought back to the Lobby to be displayed, the audience was something different again, and what had to be considered when selecting appropriate documentation was how much of the story I wanted to tell, and how descriptive the documentation had to be. In the end it was decided that more could be left unsaid – the image that I selected said all that I wanted to and doesn’t need to describe the piece entirely. It is not the piece itself.

The documentation of these events in the Lobby forms a cohesive and interesting ‘non-exhibition’; the work is varied and all of it somewhat cryptic which again illuminates the difference between the work, and the documentation that came from it. This has been the most challenging of the calls in this sense – the workload was relatively small compared to call 1, but there was working out to do with regards to how this should be translated – as with call 2 – but more so.

 I was not involved in the curation of the exhibition, but was present. The large amount of work for such a small space meant that a tight narrative had to be created, as well as a sense of aesthetic balance. I think this has also been the most challenging show to install.

CURA200 Call 3

"Rites of passage are ceremonies that symbolise the significant moments in our lives as we move from birth, through life to death. Such rituals are both personal and communal."
 (Morgan, S (1995) Rites of passage; Art for the End of the Century. Tate Gallery Publications: London)

The Big Adventure! Day 3

Damp early morning goodbyes and long walks home.

The Big Adventure! K D J