18/12/2012

I've been thinking very much about Annette Messager again lately... 'Practical Woman', collector, mother. It seems a very female stance to be a rational irrational. Building things up and putting them in order but living in internal and external chaos. c.h.a.o.s. Or perhaps that's just the perception... Female hysteria, madness, struggle, unreasonable. PERSONA.
It's a reassuring thing I think. Women are reassuring, comforting. And comfort can be found in creating order and being sensible and taking stock and looking back and documenting and building up a body of this STUFF because then it's there and that reminds you that you are here and you have done this thing to this stuff, so you're here and the stuff is here and everything's okay.
 When order is lost and the chaos creeps back in is where it gets strange, and it can happen slowly, through cracks and holes and that's frightening and confusing and distressing so you just keep doing what you always did, but there's no sense or justification for it, it's just doing what you do because it's better than sitting in the dark and jibbering.
But I'm still sitting in the dark and jibbering, and I'm trying to figure out how this happened and what to do about it.